I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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