apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I will be naked everywhere
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
