But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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