so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
