"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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