Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
