He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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