it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Randomize
