I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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