If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
