I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
