I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
