You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
