can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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