i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
