I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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