Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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