Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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