the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
