Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize