why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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