he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
