Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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