What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
