I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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