I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
