I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
