"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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