Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
