i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
