A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
