Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize