We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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