I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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