pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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