You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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