That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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