she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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