tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
