YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
