You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
