I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
