Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm passing your future prison.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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