chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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