I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
