if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize