he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have aggressive nipples.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize