It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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