Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
