Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
