I hate your face
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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