its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize