best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
