that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
