i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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