He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
