I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
