Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize