dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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