it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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