She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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