I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
