he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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