A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My bed smells like the plague
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
dude. I can hear the air.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
