I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
