i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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